All By Myself....

I can't get that song out of my head. Except the words that follow, “Don't wan't to be.." don't apply as much in this case. Well, they kind of did this morning. This is my baby, my three year old baby's first day of preschool. I know, I will learn to embrace, appreciate and ultimately love three hours all to myself — but this morning was a shock. I have been with him, by his side, his whole life up to this point. He is a mama's boy for sure and we are pretty attached, so I wasn't sure how this whole first day would go. But he did great.

When I first introduced the idea to him, he asked if I was staying. Then when I said I wasn’t, he said he would be sad. I prepared him as best as I could and told him about new friends, teachers and things to play with. I read him books about little kids going off to school and saying goodbye and that the mama always comes back to hug and kiss them. Something clicked and my boy was so excited. He grabbed his lunch box this morning, put on his new little fox backpack and skipped his way out of our house. At school he smiled and said hello to everyone. My daughter walked him in with me and showed him that her new second grade class was right next door. We got to hang out for a bit and then it was time to walk her over to her class. I said we needed to say goodbye and he smiled waved and off we went. Shockingly, he was pretty chill.

I walked my daughter in and it was a well-organized classroom. We introduced ourselves to the teacher and on her own my daughter politely said, “Nice to meet you." She found her name on her desk and sat down. The parents didn't really stick around so I took their cue and gave her a hug and said goodbye. She was braver then I have ever seen her on a first day of school because I realized this is the first school she is attending for the second year in a row. She was excited to see her friends and start a new year. I walked out of the class and and let the tears flow.

It's hard to believe my kids are now going off to school together each day. He is only there for three hours so it isn't as if I can go start a new career or anything, but for the first time in almost eight years I am not pregnant, nursing, pushing a stroller, or holding a little hand. It is surreal and I did feel a bit lonely on the way home from dropping off. It will be an adjustment indeed but I have a feeling we will all get pretty comfortable soon.