Friday, December 2, 2016

He's Got A Way About Him


When I found out I was having a baby boy, my friend told me that little boys love their mamas. She described that love as a deep, strong bond that was unbreakable. 

Just after my baby boy was born, I waited for that feeling to start. For that love to grow. It wasn't instant, so I wondered if it was because I was so in love with my little girl that this new little baby in no way could ever mean as much to me. Then one day when he was only a few months old, I was holding him in his room and all of a sudden -- I felt it. I kissed his soft, warm, bald head and said "I love you. I really do."  The rush of it all was so surprising.

From that moment on, I understood what my friend meant, because I felt it. The way my little boy looked at me made my heart melt. The way he would reach for me, hold my neck, or hold my hand — I would fall in love all over and over again. There is no comparing siblings of different genders. Girls and boys are very different. Sure I can talk about their births, or how long I nursed them, or what stuffed animals they both gravitated to, but that is about where it ends, because my two kids are very different. I  know you can have two daughters and two sons be very different from one another as well, but in my own case, I can see some clear differences that fit more into typical girl or boy behavior. My daughter is more emotional and will come snuggle in a gentle way, and my son is more physical and will tackle me to the ground, all in the name of love. His hugs can be painful, his kisses hard, and his cuddling is anything but still.

Over the summer, he went through a tough period. He was freshly four, and well I could just stop right there, because four has never been a fun age for me to parent. Again, though this four looked very different from the whining, pouting, crying four from my daughter. This four had whining, but also anger and hitting. At the time, I feared that my son was Dennis the Menace in the flesh, and I began read as many parenting books as I could. I tried every tip, trick or piece of advice, none of which worked. It felt like all the fun, cuddly little boy stuff seemed to disappear. He wasn't as affectionate and he honestly wasn't very easy to like during that time. The only that I had forgotten was that this too is a phase, and "this too shall pass."

Indeed we came out on the other side and my little wrestling bundle of love returned. We are back in a delicious phase of intoxicating hugs and kisses. They are random, and impromptu, and I welcome every single hug and kiss.

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