Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Two. Oh Boy!!

I don't know how its possible that you are two already. As your birthday approached I kept having to remind myself that you are actually turning two and not one. It seems that you stayed a baby for a much shorter time than your sister. When she was born, I was concerned with every detail. hoping I was doing it all "right." When you came along I wished I could have been a second time mom, first time round. With you I was at ease. Even in the most hectic moments, I already knew I could do something that resembled a good job, and you would come out okay.

The day you were born two years ago was a Saturday and it wasn't easy getting you out. It was long and exhausting. When your sister was born I was fascinated that an experience so painful could be followed immediately with such joy. It was the best day of my life and I was excited to have that same experience with you. But you weren't quite as ready and so by the time I held you, we were both so tired. I knew I loved you right away, but to be honest with you, I just wasn't sure who you were then and so it took time for my feelings to grow deeper. I hadn't been away from your sister that much until then and I was overwhelmed wondering how I would have enough love for both of you. 

My boy, it didn't take long for me to fall hard for you. My heart just expanded and seemed to open a reservoir I didn't know I had. Things were hectic at times and I certainly didn't get to sit and stare at you the way I did first time around, but you didn't mind.  You had your sister to follow around and she made you shriek happy screams. You made such a wonderful addition to our family. Seeing your daddy play with you warms me every time. I am sentimental about this milestone and tears have come to my eyes a few times today already. 

Mother's often get sad on the happiest days for their children. I know the reason is because we feel our babies are getting further and further from being our babies. Change isn't easy for everyone and just as one thing settles another seems to shift. I am making an active decision to celebrate today. First off, I am so much more comfortable now than on the day you were born, so that's cause for a party right there.

Mainly I just want to celebrate you though. You amaze me, as I watch you speak new words everyday. I love how everything is an adventure for you since it's all so new. We could take a walk up a path and you will stop and notice bugs, lizard, rocks, and sticks and that small path makes you so happy. When you get in the car I need to leave a few extra minutes so that you can go "beep beep" which really means just sitting in behind the wheel and pretending to drive. You love cars, trains, trucks, anything with wheels. Your laugh is grand and infectious. I absolutely love the time I have to spend with you and am so grateful to be able to treasure it.

So on this day, as the sound of your feet grow louder and your steps faster, I want to celebrate what is ahead. It's only getting better and better. Sure, I lose my little baby but I gain a little boy.  A small person who, when you hold my hand, makes me melt a little each time. So as your journey continues, please know that I will forever be yours. I love you. Here we go, "Beep, beep!"








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