Monday, October 20, 2014

New Girls

With all the changes come a lot of emotions. New apartment, new area, new school, new gymnastics. It's a lot for me to get used to, let alone my 6 year old. My little one just needs two or three days in a place and he will yell out "home" the second we turn into the driveway. In his short life he has already moved practically 4 times. My daughter is a lot more aware of how different her life is now. She loved Kindergarten and now that we moved, there was a lot of longing for her old school.

Kids are adaptable and will follow your lead on how big of a deal you make something. I have been working really hard on my poker face and showing her that new situations are exciting and an adventure. The truth is that I do feel that way but in the past my fear typically over shadowed the excitement. As an adult the stress and fear combined can be a distracting combo but this time I promised myself to stay positive. My close friend talked me into trying to take it all as it came. Boy did come at us this summer, with all the moves and unknown elements of where we would live. I took her advice and I am not going to say there hasn't been challenging moments but I am impressed with my stability through this process.

When my girl looks up at me and tells me she has butterflies on the first day of school, I tell her I understand. I really do understand because I have them for her too, but we are not becoming paralyzed by the fear. I am helping her replace some of the worry with excitement, (or as she says "distract me mommy") and she is already using coping tools that I wasn't able to until recently. Every new subject or activity that we heard about for her new school I would get excited for her and tell her how amazing first grade would be. Her poker face wasn't as good as mine, and she was fighting back tears. Her bravery impressed me though. It was hard to stand amongst a class of kids and watch them all say hello to one another in a more familiar way than she was able to. They all knew each other from Kindergarten and no one else seemed scared or upset.

Everyone has been really nice and friendly, even more so than at the school she attended last year. The big difference though is that we both had a close friend at the old school and don't really know anyone here. In this area I think she might actually be doing a bit better than me. She has found a few people she wants to hang out with. One of them she was a bit off on her judgement and at our first get together at this girl's house revealed that maybe she was a bit less sweet than she originally seemed, but she has navigated with the kids nicely. I feel a bit more lonely for my bff's lately. I know it takes time, but I am missing my cool interesting, edgy, smart fun friends. I am sure there are some people that exist living in this new part of town but I haven't met them yet.

I know it takes time, and the same message I am conveying to my girl, I need to heed myself. Little by little. It's only September and I heard from another parent last year that the adjustment to the new school year really settles in by Halloween. I think it's safe to say Twig will be more than at home by then. As for me, if I don't feel more settled by Halloween I'll be the one with the white sheet over my head.

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