Monday, March 9, 2015

A Little Fire

I'm really tired, and when I am tired, I feel old, and when I feel old I feel like time is running out and I better do something important with my time before it runs out.

A bit extreme maybe but I need a project. My son is 2 and a half and I said I would hire a sitter when he turned two so I would have some time to myself -- and well, that didn't happen. We moved, I got overwhelmed, he is my last baby and I want to be with him. There are myriad excuses but I haven't taken any time. And well, now is the time.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I went back to do a job, when I had a bit of a career and when I got there I didn't know how to do anything anymore. When I woke up I realized it's not that far off from reality. It's been a long time since I did anything outside of parenting and writing this blog. I am rusty! Now starting over again is a bit more than I can chew, but observing a class, or taking one, might do the trick. I just can't muster up the energy because I am so tired, which makes me feel lazy and then like the clock is ticking, and so on.

It would help if I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but since it is not clear I am going to use this post as an opportunity to jot down some ideas that excite me, no matter how big or ambitious, I will not censor. I would like to do something that helps other people, through example, discussion, or film-making. I would like a health and fitness-related job again, that combines health, fitness and food. I would like to write more and have people other than my family read it. I would like to work in a group setting, where ideas and inspirations get bounced around.

Thats what I hope for. I will do some brain storming and hopefully come up with some first steps to take. In the meantime I am going to take a nap. Got to start somewhere.

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