Monday, March 16, 2015

Words of Wisdom from the Y

We joined the Y a few months ago. My husband, who I like to say has a seasonal interest in fitness, got very enthusiastic about the possibility of working out there. The first week he took a yoga class. In the ten plus years we have been together I have only been able to take a class with me once, and I teach yoga! I was perplexed but also proud that he went on his own so I keep my mouth shut. When he came home and said how great it was I smiled. When he quoted the instructor, I must have looked confused. At the end of the class when everyone was relaxing on their backs she said "thank you for just one more day." My husband is the thoughtful sensitive type but still it was completely out of character to be moved by something as simple as that but he was. Don't get me wrong it is a beautiful sentiment and we should be grateful for everyday we have here, and everyday that we are healthy and take care of ourselves we should take inventory. It just goes to show though that it really doesn't matter where or how you get spiritual enlighntment, just that you get it.

It is easy to forget to take pause and count your blessings as "they"say. I went on Facebook later that day and my husband had posted the quote from the instructor. I poked fun at him for how very moving a yoga class at local Y can be. We laughed about it for a bit. Only this morning though I understand how when a words are timely for someonw it really doesn't matter how the words find you. I just read a story recently about this older woman who would write letters to her grown daughter about how beautiful the details of her day to day were. From the outside her daughter said that her mother's life would seem quite opposite of beautful since her parents were growing broke and  her father was a raging alcoholic, but her mother was able to look at the tiny details around her and see how much beauty there was. After reading that I tried that on a particularly down day and I felt it nearly impossible. I saw incredible nature around me but I felt all the sounds were singing for my ears to hear that day. Perhaps a different day, but that day I felt blocked. After some more attempts I could see and here beauty a bit more but it was still pretty challenging.

I now make it habit everyday to pay attention to the details. It's not that I wasn't doing that before with my children, but I wasn't doing it for everything. When I do look at what is truly around me there really is more beauty than I expected to find. I remember a very spiritual friend of mine used to say, "Look for miracles everyday." I think I was always looking at my kids and stopped looking after that. My kids are amazing but it is not all about them, nor can I base my happiness on them. In my darkest period a few years ago when I was really down I remember that same feeling of not being able to see anything good around me. I could see the world moving but I didn't feel in sync. I could see people smiling but I couldn't remember how to feel happy. I had my then two year old with me day after day and although I knew I loved her more than I thought I could love anything, I still couldn't feel connected to her as I had in the past. The feelings scared me, and fortunately time healed and I was able to come out of that time and reconnect to the important things.

It's been quite sometime since I have gone down to the dark side as I can say now, but I feel so much more equipped for how to handle it. I feel like I keep myself in shape so to speak, by paying more attention to the details. This morning when my son woke up and then put his head on my shoulder and fell back asleep I didn't move. Eventually I was able to gently move down to the floor where I rested next to him while he slept. His arms were still around my neck and I just listened to him breathing. Dare I move and risk waking him, I stayed there for almost and hour. It was amazing! The sound of his breath made me realize how lucky I am to have this healthy boy and that thought just flowed into other thoughts of how lucky I am. It was a pretty perfect way to start the day. So the next time I decide to poke fun at where my husband gets his most moving sentiments I will remember this morning, because I too am grateful for just one more day.

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