Saturday, March 21, 2020


During this time of isolation, I've looked back at blogs I wrote just a week ago. I was stunned by how quickly our lives all changed.

Movies, TV, and books are suddenly not as relatable, since the drama in them seems to pale in comparison to our reality right now. In moments where I forget this is all happening, the wake up call that it actually is, stings. It seems so hard to believe that it is actually as bad as it is. In order to keep my head from flying all over, I am constantly bringing myself back to gratitude. There is still so much that is wonderful. I am so happy to have this time with my family. I know there are and will be more moments, where I don't feel as excited about it, but I am right now. I always said how time passes so quickly with children and that I wish I could slow it down. Wish granted, with consequences indeed, but granted none the less.

What I am missing most already is the people I love. Simply upon hearing I couldn't see my friends, makes me want to be around them even more. Yes, technology is amazing, but not quite the same as real people. Before any of this began, there were friends I just saw too little of. Now, I am thinking about how when we all can again, I would like to see friends that I haven't seen in way too long. In the meantime, I am going to focus on some shout outs and stories of people I love. I have taken for granted that our friends are always going to around when we are ready and not that any of them are sick or dying, but I don't want to wait for anything more dramatic to happen to tell them how I feel.

Scot, for a long time, a long time ago, was someone I spoke to everyday. He and I were so close. We shared a passion for life, fun, and anxiety. Fortunately, we never freaked out at the same time, and were actually a strong support for one another. He and I met through another close friend, and we conncted right away. He was in a long term relationship, and I was dating way too many people. He was someone stable in my life when very little was stable. We would play tennis together, listen to music, watch movies, take hikes, draw, create music, go out to eat, and one of my favoites: we would ride our bikes down crazy hills screaming. We both had the ability to feel things so deeply. The lows were so low, but the highs were amazing.

As the years went by, we saw each other through some tough times. He was there for me when I broke up with the last boyfriend that I said I would ever date. After seventeen years he and his girlfriend got married, and when they spilt up shortly after, I would like to think I was a support to him. We have not seen each other in over five years, and as far as I am concerned that is unacceptable. He got married to an incredible woman, and they are so well matched. They have two beautiful daughters, who I haven't met yet, also unnaceptable. They now live in Nashville where they can focus on her job as a cardiologist/singer-songwriter, and his job as a singer/songwriter, producer, and parent tobtheir girls.

After that last brutal break up I had, when I swore off ever having to break up with someone again, I dedicated time to being with close friends and doing things I loved. I met Scot up the street from my apartment to play tennis at the court in the park. As we sent the ball back and forth, he told me he wanted to set me up with someone I already knew. It took a lot of convincing from him, and from myself to agree to go, but I did and I am so glad. He set me up with David and I am forever indebted to him for that. He also knew I would not go on a date without him, so we made it a double date. So many memories from Scot that make me smile. Even now, in the face of all this sadness, he makes me laugh. I think he is a brilliant artist and a wonderful person. Here is his latest work of art.

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