Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Reality

It occured to me recently that for all the protection I try to provide my daughter, there are still inevitable incidents throughout her entire life that I cannot help her with. It is unavoidable that there will be accidents, lack of judgement, and mishaps that will come up for her. Of course, this isn't complete news to me, but I hadn't thought about it with much detail, until now.

I was watching a television show a few weeks ago and there was a young female character who falls in love with her teacher. He "falls in love" with her too and it is like watching a slow motion car crash. Anyone who knew me from age sixteen to twenty one, is aware that this storyline was all to familiar to me. I was so upset while watching it. I related to this girl's emotions and winched as she got deeper and deeper into a hole. I remembered when I too confused extra attention from a teacher to mean something more than it was. When I wasn't wrong, I was in over my head in terms of how to react. It was all a mess. I went to bed that night trying to put my past to rest, when it dawned on me that I have a daughter. Holy crap, I want to keep her from following those particular footsteps of mine.

So far, she has had a black eye from falling into a drawer pull. She has tripped and scraped her face. She had to be tested for diabetes because she drinks so much water. She was insulted when a little girl screamed "no" at her when she wanted to join her in playing. She has fought back tears when she has had her feelings hurt. She has fallen off a swing pretty hard, and she fell a few feet through an opening on a walking bridge -- that was my least favorite to date.

I'm not trying to be negative. I am only attempting to prepare myself a tiny bit for all the frightening surprises that might lie ahead. I am making a list of possible occurances so that when the shock hits me, I can soften the blow a little by remembering it was bound to happen at some point.

She will be pushed, hit or bitten by another child
Someone will yell at her
She will hear "I hate you"
She will be blamed for something she didn't do
She will be responsible for something she did do
She might chip a tooth, break a bone, or need stitches at some point
She might need surgery
She might cry on her first day of school
She might be so excited and forget to say goodbye to me on her first day of school
She will be picked on by other kids
She will go through phases of having very low self asteem
She may hate math
She may quit a sport or instrument we thought she loved
She might fake being sick so she doesn't have to go to school
She could be a victim of theft
She could steal
She might suffer horrible nightmares
She will know fear
She will lose something important to her
She will know loss
She will lose someone important to her
She will know great sadness
She will make and lose friends
She will see cruelty
She will see inequality
She will look for answers and come up short
She will feel unsuccesful at times
She will know failing
She will have to learn to find courage
She will trust
She will experience disappointment
She will try her best, and see life can be unfair
She will fall in and out of love
She will break someone's heart
She will have her heart broken
She will feel pain
She will learn to overcome
She might suffer
She will experience dark days, weeks, months
She will fight

In the worst of the worst,and when things are just fine she will have love, from her mother, her father, her other family members and her friends. We will encourage her. When she feels weak we will help her to grow stronger. When she can't see ahead we will offer her light. She will learn from every mistake, and mistakes will happen. They always do.

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