Monday, May 16, 2011

Here Now


I feel the need to take pause today and acknowledge that I am exactly where I should be in this moment. Sounds metaphysical hippy dippy spiritual granola, but I so rarely can say that I am absolutly content, and so I have to say it now. I am absolutely content. I am not in my darkest hardest time, nor I am not the most overjoyed. I'm just very content.

There are things I want to do more of in my life. I am not totally satisfied with my level of professional success, but I am not disappointed either. I feel I have had amazing work opportunities so far, and will have more chances to love what I work on in the future again. I am proud to be mother, and feel proud of the job I am doing at it as well. I am not done aspiring for other work, but I have no regrets about it not happening right now. I don't feel like I am missing out because I'm happier intimately witnessing my daughter's early years.

Time spent with friends is different lately for me too. I feel like I stopped getting together with acquaintances as much as I used to. There just isn't as much quality time available to me and when I have it I want to be with close quality friends. I used to relunctantly make plans with people I hadn't seen in months and then get there and maybe be pleasently surprised or maybe not. Now I am more apt to be with people I know I feel good with and that the feeling is mutual.

At the end of each day I write a short gratitude list. I aim to find at least five things a day to jot down. The list has been getting longer recently, and I it feels good to finish each day with a sense of pleasure at how it went, and who I spent it with.

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