Monday, April 25, 2011

Watching Paint Dry

I am not the most patient person. I am the first to admit that, and the first to admit that I have gotten better. Recently though I have been waiting on a few things, and I feel myself obsessively thinking about things I can do nothing about. Oh right, that's my other big downfall. I am obsessive too. A person like me probably should have never purchased a video baby monitor, because still now at over two years old, I keep staring at it until my daughter falls asleep. Once she is asleep, I can feel my body relax more and suddenly I can focus on things better.

A Blackberry is also an interesting thing for me. The ding that alerts me that I have a text went off thirty seconds ago and I just had to check it. That cost me my thought line but it was imperative that I read that text from no one that important about nothing important either. Okay back on track. I am waiting. Waiting is a complete waste of energy I have decided. There is nothing I can do to speed the process of my husband getting a job, my daughter ending a tantrum, my parents waiting for test results, or a friend going into labor. All out of my control.

On an intellectual level, I totally get that, but emotionally I am not sure how to quiet my thoughts. So far, the closest thing I have come up with is distraction. I do have other things on my plate, really good things that I can focus on too. My daughter jumped off a diving board into the pool today, I cooked dinner for twenty this week, and I am reading a really good book right now. In general, I feel like I am in a really great place right now. I feel happier and more content than I have in a long time. I do not take that for granted, so I will try to tap back into that thought when my head begins to wonder. When it does though, I hope no one finds me blowing on wet paint in my useless attempt to make it dry just a little faster.

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