This weekend we went away to the beach for a few days. It was a much needed getaway and we all feel refreshed. Twig ran, splashed, and played in the water the majority of the time, while my husband and I took turns reading or relaxing on the sand. We stayed in a worn down beach motel right on the sand. It wasn't expensive and it wasn't beautiful, but it was right where we wanted to be and it was perfect for the weekend.
We deserved this break after a rough couple of weeks. The night before we left we went out with some friends and my husband's ex-wife was there. A perfect remedy for getting over a miscarriage is to hang out with your husband's pregnant ex-wife. Then I found out another two of my very close friends are pregnant. I am happy for them and keep reminding myself we are all on our own journeys, but it does sting a bit. I feel like I want to be pregnant immediately. I now recognize the difference between anxiety and just plain impatience.
The ocean is a place that I discovered these past two weeks makes me feel the most present. It calms me down and helps me stay in place when my head wants to run. It keeps moving and changing yet you can be still while it moves around you. In college I took a course called "The Creative Mind" and we learned that there are some places more conducive to creativity then others. Driving a car, showering, sitting in front of a fire place. It never mentioned watching waves but I think they missed a big one. It feels like so much begins there. On the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah, people go to the waterfront for renewal to let go of the past and start again with a fresh new year.
We came back ready to begin again. I let some things go, and found some new hope to thrive on. We had a fun time together as a family, and it reminded us of how much we love being together. Twig, as a special treat when we go away now, gets to sleep in the bed with us. She thinks this is such a big thing for her, little does she know how much the two of us love it too. This is what summer is all about, taking little trips, being together, and enjoying the summer weather. We had such a good time, we are heading back in a few weeks.